Thursday, March 8, 2012

Wow..... 33 weeks already....

The time now is 5:51 a.m.

Here I am sitting wide awake. Thanks to the umpteen times (every 20 mins to half an hour during the night) of pee-ing (trickling only) sessions I had to waddle to the toilet to perform and the ultimate half an hour poo-ing effort I had by sitting on the toilet bowl since 4:30 and finally felt the exit around 4:53 a.m. AND ended up with little achievement...... And people has been asking how have I been? Hmm...... I think I could fairly describe myself as kinda TIRED??!! Because hell this above itinerary has been going on for well....... quite a while since I hit 3rd trimester.....................................!!

Okay, this is the first blog post since I became pregnant.  I was having a watsapp conversation with wendy and she asked me, why don't I pen down in a journal all these experiences that I am going through.  So this explains the sudden impulse at this time and only now I decided to write.

I believe EVERYONE has noticed my almost disappearance, ok total disappearance in fact from the the online world except for some whining facebook status updates.  Not that I have become aloof or suffering from depression. Seriously. Try getting pregnant in my way.  The hard way!  While I am at this, I would like to thank all my clients/fans for the enquiries and miss me messages that they have left in my FB. I do read them although delayed.

Before i became pregnant, the beautiful things that I associated with pregnancy were simply great motherhood, beautiful mommy glow, wonderful appetite that can allow me to eat a cow.  Weight gaining with a license.  Pleasant baby movements!  Lots of beauty sleep!  Some women really experienced the above described and has no other symptoms other than the bulge. (I really feel that they are so blessed).

And the hard fact is!  My pregnancy is something which has taken all my energy away.......... I lie in bed sleepless at nights and google away most of the nights.  And to let my precious son know, mummy has encountered all the symptoms and complains and it is almost 100% of what has been mentioned in all the pregnancy posts that professionals put up in the internet.

I vomited constantly after every food intake (not just after meals) from first month up to the middle of the fourth month!  The vomitting did not totally end but subsided into occasional food intake that baby (or rather my gastric) rejected.  I had migraines........ i had all the body aches....back, pelvic, rib etc. and my personal favourite is the super ultra painful breasts and nipples that became so sore and returned with a vengence during the third trimester!  How can I leave out those cramps that happens only at 5 a.m. in the morning at my upper abdominal! I do not understand why but this cramp has been seemingly punctual.  Most dreadful and most ultimate whine I have will be the appetite.  I had super many hunger pangs but zero appetite. I could not eat a proper meal without hating it.  Who told me they could eat away like no tomorrow when they were pregnant? (I hate you). In the first few months I totally lost weight and only gained a bulge.  I am glad that I am now catching up and has gained about 10kg since my pregnancy. Constipation very fast became a problem and along with it, yes the dreadful piles...... Oh oh, did I mention about the urination?

I am almost an encyclopedia for pregnancy complains..........

I have to nag this again. I have made great friends with my toilet bowl and other public toilet bowls since the day I sat on it and checked the pregnancy kit and it returned with a faint red line.  I hugged it, sat on it and looked at it more than my husband in a day.  The only thing I never could do is to kiss it, but thinking back during those vomitting days, I almost had to kiss it when I had no strength to stand back up...........

Sleeping has become such a challenge now.  When the tummy gets big enough to feel uncomfortable either side I turn, I need lots and lots of tossing and turning before I feel comfortable enough to doze off and in just a few minutes, I am woken up by the call of squeezed bladder!  And to top things up, I have water retention which means that I wake up every morning with pains in my joints especially all my finger joints and elbow joints! Some morning I wake up feeling like I do not have hands because they had all become numbed. Talk about a great pregnancy!

Well apart from all this whining, it is sometimes amazing when everything is quiet and I sit there and look at my tummy... Can I just say that the proudest thing that I can mention about this pregnancy is that I do not have ugly stretch marks (touch wood and hope they do not surface overnight).  Ok back to looking at my tummy.  The amazing thing is the bond and connection I feel with the baby.  Well, I have a lil boy inside me and we are naming hm Titus.  Looking at his squirming and elbow nudging, kicking and hiccups movement sometimes can be really delighting. (And at this very moment while I am writing this, I feel his effort to kick my ribs apart).  It is something (the only thing) which I believe I will miss when he leaves my body and comes out to meet me.  It is by far the most amazing thing that I have encountered in a lifetime. Having a life inside me and controlling me.  All my life I have been wanting to experience this. Become a mother.  Although all these complains that I have since i got pregnant makes me think twice about getting pregnant again. I know once I see him, all the pains and agonies that I have will not be in vain.

7 more weeks to go.   I have to, I want to, I must make it.